Stream of Consciousness

Here it goes:

-- Yesterday, after the sun had set and I wanted nothing more than to crawl into bed, my 5-year-old child (Basset Hound) asked me for a Popsicle. She speaks with her eyes, people. I had just sat down and was finishing off the blue raspberry portion of my firecracker Popsicle, you know the red white and blue ones. I thought to myself, you know why not? She likes yogurt. YES, keep your comments to yourself, she likes yogurt. And grapes. Anyway, I held out the stick for her and she gave it a lick. Low (loe?) and behold (what does this phrase even really mean?) she licked up that Popsicle like I'd never seen her lick before. And when she was done, two things happened. The first was that her tongue turned a shade of Indian Ocean Blue that I'd only dream of seeing on a Chow. And second, she revealed a joke to me (that was on the Popsicle stick) that confirmed that these Popsicle sticks were made sometime around my 6th birthday. The joke? What is a cat's favorite button on a VCR (yes, I went there). It's paws. Hold your applause.

-- Today at work, a Pug was chasing his tail for a full fledged 120 seconds. I wasn't counting. But what is it that makes a dog want to chase their tail? Do they think it's like some kind of anamorphic phenomenon that is suctioned to their body and coincidentally moves when they think about moving it? And thus it must be eaten/chased? If I could be inside the mind of a Pug for one day, I'd do it. But just for one day.

-- What did people do before texting? Actually.

-- That was such a dumb joke. What is a cat's favorite button on a VCR. Yeah, really funny.

-- My boss took the time to draw designs in her gigantic bubble letters that read: GAS, today before she stuck in on her steering wheel. Before I got in the car. I thought that was thoughtful.

-- If I ever come to own six cats in my lifetime, you have my permission here in writing to come and deal with me. Use whatever actions you deem necessary. Unless all the cats are naming something exotic, like Da Buddha or Iago.

-- Spellcheck made me capitalize popsicle.