Coffee Pouches & Allergens

I’ve come to realize a few things.

Firstly, whoever was the first person to stumble upon a coffee bean, grind it up, then think to mix it with hot water and then drink it (versus pour it on plants or give it to the llamas in the open fields), I love you. I just want you to know, wherever your blessed soul is right now, I love you. I love you, I love you, and I love you. You are a genius and I’m 100% positive I’m not alone when I profess my forever undying love and servitude to you. I love you. Thank you for being there for me at ungodly hours of the morning.

That was actually a tangent, because that’s not something I’ve realized. I already knew I loved that person who first cultivated coffee, that was a given. My real realization is that I love the person who invented Starbucks Via, which my child if you don’t know, is instant, portable coffee in a pouch. Can I ask you for something that is a better invention? I cannot. Words can’t escape my lips, mostly because I’m too busy drinking instant, portable coffee. From Colombia, none the less.

If you haven’t had the glorious opportunity to quench your morning time thirst with instant, portable coffee in a pouch, I highly, highly, highly recommend you put it on your to-do list. I can safely say that it’s not 9 o’clock in the morning yet and I’m on my third cup. Excessive? Maybe a little bit, but when you have to deal with a Jack Russell that deliberately ignores you, a Golden Retriever that thinks it’s a Rhinoceros, another Golden Retriever that wants to sit ON your lap, and a Black Lab puppy that awkwardly gets stuck in awkward places, you would be on your third cup of coffee too. Trust me, I’m an Anthropologist.

And that leads me to another realization.

I forget things. I forget important things. Mind you I’ve never forgotten anything like my ID before boarding an airplane (never, in my life …), and I’ve never forgotten to set my alarm before having to wake up for work, and I’ve never, ever forgotten to write a paper and turn it in (Communication Disorders, Fall quarter 2009). I would never forget important things like that. I always, always remember super important things like, what time the season premiere of Teen Mom starts (July 20, at 10pm), and what’s on the menu at Casa Que Pasa so I can plan what I’m going to order next time I go. I remember those things.

Never in my life have I forgotten what day it is, and continued throughout the day not knowing. Never in my life have I forgotten to call someone back who I told I would call first thing. Never have I forgotten what the speed limit is, so guessed instead. And naturally, I’ve never forgotten to take off the parking brake before I start driving.

But most importantly, now I’ve realized that I ALWAYS forget my allergy pill. Always. Never mind the fact that I work in a place that has constant pet dander and fur and slobber and drool (same thing?) and hypoallergenic hair flying through the air at any given second. Curses on my desire to remember my car keys when I’m leaving instead of an allergy pill. It’s amazing the difference it makes too. On the days when I reluctantly remember to take an allergy pill with my morning coffee, I don’t sniff or sneeze ONE time at work. Let it be known that I’ve easily sneezed 30 times in the last hour. And I wonder why I get so many bloody noses.

And I’ve also realized, that I know you want to live vicariously through me as a I spend my days mopping up slobber and breaking Milkbones into equal pieces and distributing them at snack time. It’s okay, I understand your wants and needs. I understand you have the desire to know what it’s like to sit amongst 15+ dogs of all sizes and wonder to yourself, what went wrong? Just kidding! As a dog lover I want to say up front this truly is a great summer job. Even if I do have to keep the spray bottle attached to my belt loop all day and constantly have a tongue on any given part of exposed skin. I’ve decided to thus to a “Dog of the Day” and give you the insight into one of these precious pooch’s best qualities. I do not promise to post a Dog of the Day every day, because I might be in a coma from too much caffeine. There’s really no telling.