The Daycare.

I guess you could say there are some plusses and minuses, some pros and cons, some ups and downs to working at a dog daycare. Being the Dog Whisperer, it’s hard for any dog to really irritate me (plus). I enjoy sharing sentimental moments with the four legged creatures who frolic in the wood chipped arena (plus). I also enjoy sharing other things with the pooches. Yesterday I shared an apple with a Westie, German Shepherd, and a Black Lab puppy (plus). That was of course, after I had eaten my share, and then I let them have little nibbles.

However, since my arrival at the canine casa I have found myself realizing a couple things. There is one dog here who is the authentic reincarnation of Satan (minus). Now hold on, hold on, let me explain before you judge my judging. Not only does this dog’s bark make your inner ear cry for the end of misery, but it makes your eyes close, your face contort, and you’re sure somewhere every time this dog barks it’s shrill, miserable, high pitched bark, someone rolls over in their grave. This dog could unleash the forces of the dead with its bark. I wish I was kidding.

And it’s a constant barker. You know the type of dog that has to bark if you open a window? If you have a drink of water? If you stand up from your chair? If you scratch your head? It has to be reported, and people have to turn over in their graves. This is why I want to be cremated, so it’ll be impossible for me to turn over in my grave at the sound of this dog’s call.

And then, when you look at him, he’s always looking at you. And it’s not a kind, gentle, brown eyed love stare. It’s a squinty eyed, up to no good, I’m going to eat your soul before your shift is over, kind of stare. I kid you not he barks as I type this. The leaves are rustling outside. That’s the only sound/movement apart from my fingers on the keyboard.

And I’m sure this particular dog has really great intentions, but maybe he just acts out when he’s at daycare. Maybe when he’s at home he’s not annoying and he’s actually charming. Oh my God. I just looked at him and I think he does want to eat my soul. I kid you not he is the reason I keep a source of water close by. He doesn’t like to be sprayed.

Anyway I apologize for my discrimination of this dog, but for his own protection I’m not issuing the model or make of this dog, nor his name (you can stick to calling him Satan/Lucifer/Death Angel, etc.). It’s a shame because he’s snuffed the whole breed for me. I can guarantee I will never own this model. I fear for my life, my soul, and my eardrums.